The News-Press Liberal Smackdown!
There's this rich, dopey, liberal (but that's redundant) named Wendy McCaw who is the owner of the Santa Barbara News-Press. Once, according to Newsosaur, she ordered an editorial "denouncing the traditional Thanksgiving dinner as an infringement on the rights of turkeys."
Really.
Now a bunch of her editors have resigned because she meddles. Yawn.
Their reasons are typically insipid bullshit: The kind of claptrap ("newsroom sanctity") that has driven newspapers to the edge of extinction.
Give us something besides the kind of mentality that spawns "newsroom sanctity." You boys take yourselves way too freaking seriously. We're talking Santa Barbara here.
Give me a local newspaper with a different freaking point of view for God's sake. I'll even take an insane rich bitch who calls for the end of Thanksgiving. At least it would be some damn thing worth reading. Dang, if she keeps it up, she'll sell a lot of newspapers before she goes out of business.
Hell, if she keeps it up, I will open a newspaper in Santa Barbara. I'll cover everything the churches do. I'll run obits on page 1 and hire White Trash Republic as my society writer and I'd run her news on page 1 above the fold and with slightly more prominence than the obits as a hat tip to optimism. Singing moles, baby. Now that's news.
I'll have a newsroom run by some version of one-eyed Burt , if any are left, who was renown for hiring, on the spot, a woman to be medical reporter because her name was Marjorie Clapp.
Now that's newspapering. Thanksgiving denunciations. Now that's something to read right before you drive her out of business.
Really.
Now a bunch of her editors have resigned because she meddles. Yawn.
Their reasons are typically insipid bullshit: The kind of claptrap ("newsroom sanctity") that has driven newspapers to the edge of extinction.
Give us something besides the kind of mentality that spawns "newsroom sanctity." You boys take yourselves way too freaking seriously. We're talking Santa Barbara here.
Give me a local newspaper with a different freaking point of view for God's sake. I'll even take an insane rich bitch who calls for the end of Thanksgiving. At least it would be some damn thing worth reading. Dang, if she keeps it up, she'll sell a lot of newspapers before she goes out of business.
Hell, if she keeps it up, I will open a newspaper in Santa Barbara. I'll cover everything the churches do. I'll run obits on page 1 and hire White Trash Republic as my society writer and I'd run her news on page 1 above the fold and with slightly more prominence than the obits as a hat tip to optimism. Singing moles, baby. Now that's news.
I'll have a newsroom run by some version of one-eyed Burt , if any are left, who was renown for hiring, on the spot, a woman to be medical reporter because her name was Marjorie Clapp.
Now that's newspapering. Thanksgiving denunciations. Now that's something to read right before you drive her out of business.
posted by Walker at 4:21 PM
2 Comments:
ROTFALMAO! You are hysterical! :)
I don't think Santa Barbarians would 'get' singing moles.
They'd find them in violation of some city noise ordinance or something...
Or worse yet, sell them to Michael Jackson! (oh, that's right, he don't live there any more...he's sporting a burqua now trying to be a "mommy" to all those fine little Saudi kids...oh, I'm so going to hell for that last remark!)
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