Thursday, May 10, 2007

Lane Bryant customer service sucks

Yesterday I wanted to find out what some charges were on my Lane Bryant credit card. The Internet has screwed up some companies but none more than Charming Shoppes, the owner of Lane Bryant and other fat chick stores.

This is a message I got from customer service at Lane Bryant, followed by my reply:

Dear *WOODS WALKER*

Thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Due to banking regulations and credit card security, our customer service representatives do not have access to credit account information.

Please contact Lane Bryant Cardholder Services directly at 800-888-4163 (TDD/TTY: 800-695-1788) for assistance with your credit account.


Sincerely,

Angela
lanebryant.com Customer Service
www.lanebryant.com


My reply:

Angela,

Now it is against the law for me to know what I bought from you. New law!

Lane Bryant Cardholder Services can't or won't tell me what I purchased on the credit card.

Indeed, they direct me to Lane Bryant Catalog.

Lane Bryant Catalog directs me to you, the Internet version of Lane Bryant.

You direct me to Lane Bryant Cardholder services.

Lane Bryant Cardholder services directs me to Lane Bryant Catalog.

Lane Bryant Catalog directs me to you.

You direct me to Land Bryant Cardholder services. etc.

I was on that merry go round for about 2 hours yesterday on the telephone. Each time I got different numbers, but no answers. I have never seen a bunch of companies so screwed up as this one and, frankly, it worries me.

Is ANYONE in charge there? Or is it against the law to tell me that?

By the way, even though you claim that it is against the law for me to know what I bought from you (new law!), I did get a customer service rep for the internet version of your company to tell me exactly that. Of course, she had no idea that I made a purchase in a store the day before. God only knows who I would have to call to find that info out.

Here is what I want you to do now:

1. I want you to forward this email to your supervisor. And if a supervisor gets this, I want him or her to forward it to someone who gives a shit ... if there is anyone like that in your entire screwed up trio of companies.

2. I want you to pay me $100 for the two hours it took me to get my question answered. You three companies can split the cost if you want because all three have abused my trust and wasted my time.

3. I want you to cancel that credit card since your company is too unreliable to deal with. But wait! I bet you can't cancel the card. I'll have to call someone else. But then, you'll owe me another freaking $100 for taking up two more hours of my time.

So, 4. The next time I speak or write to someone I want it to be the liaison between your three incompetent companies ... someone who can do something I want because only one of the 20 or so incompetents I've spoken to so far has been willing or able to do anything I want.

Most sincerely,

2 Comments:

Blogger Fish-2 said...

My wife went through similar problems with Lame Bryant and is therefore no longer a customer of theirs either. Personally I don't understand a company that doesn't have a customer service that can actually provide service to customers. They should rename it the "corporate slight of hand department".

9:40 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

I'm sure it was Lane Bryant, India.

11:53 PM  

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