Talk about horrific!

Actress Halle Berry just can't find high self-esteem and all the guarantees of good marriages and sunny mornings that brings.

Like, for example, her second marriage she describes as "horrific!"

After all, she and her hubby were 'in sex rehab after one year.'

SEX REHAB?

The head spins with possibilities.

Extraordinary assertion

I was watching Planet Earth on the Discovery Channel tonight and was struck by the closing sermon:

We control the fate of the whole natural world!

Really!

So now we not only control the weather, we control the entire natural world. The very FATE of the natural world.

And the stars revolve around us. We have actually regressed. Instead of seeing man as a cog in the machinery of nature, man now sees himself (once again) as the controller of it. It's exactly the same mentality that said the stars and the sun revolve around the earth. A smaller universe perhaps, but once again, man, in the center, and this time, in complete control of the natural world.

I'm feeling much more powerful than when I turned on the television tonight.

Of course, the liberals are feeling really guilty. And, I kind of like that. I see them sort of sniveling themselves to sleep tonight. Oh woe! Boo Hoo! Mankind (whoops!) Humankind controls nature and yet it is fucked up. I shall throw some seaweed on the barbie. I shall drive Mini Coopers. I shall not exhale.

We just don't like getting pushed around

Ben Stein: "People do not like getting pushed around. Hard-working people do not like getting pushed around by criminals. People who pay their taxes don't like getting pushed around by welfare queens. People who go to church don't like getting pushed around by atheists and the ACLU.

"(People don't like) the condescension and contempt shown to 'the great silent majority' (as Pat Buchanan put it) by the criminals, the cheats, and the beautiful people."

That really sums it up, doesn't it?

What kind of hubris does it take?

When I read the Ben Stein quote I think of the Dixie Chicks who are too good for their own audience; who think their audience, in order to be worthy of the them, the Dixie Chicks, have to shut up and be lectured to and, indeed, accept their politics before they listen to their music!

You know, the privileged set (read: liberals) just imagine that their politics should be everywhere. I was part of a genealogy study, designed to be about nothing but genealogy -- you had to PAY to be part of this study -- and the organizer of the study felt that it was his RIGHT to constantly lecture his study participants on his liberal political views. Moreover, when I pointed out that I didn't pay to be part of his political life, he got mad: It was not only his right to say what he wanted, mixing politics with DNA, but by God, I MUST listen and I MUST like it.

Really, what kind of assumption of privilege does that require?

Like most conservatives, I keep my political opinions relatively private. I never mix my opinions with business and yet liberals simply don't have these same scruples.

They think they should be able to push you around and you better damn well like it, too!

Dour dopes

I notice the dour, bores at The Nation are this week ranting about NCAA basketball.

Waa! There is corruption! Waa! Some people get beat! Waaa! There are HYPOCRITES in basketball.

Nothing is worse to a socialist than a hypocrite. That's because it's the easiest way to criticize anything. Set lofty standards then say anyone who doesn't live up to those standards in every jot and tittle is a hypocrite.

God knows (and won't they be surprised to find that out!) that their own philosophies could never stand up to their inquisitions. Talk about hypocrisy.

But, back to basketball. Gads... just imagine what life will be like when these whiners get control (and unfortunately it is a matter of time.)

What a world: A godless, humorless place where you can't watch basketball because someone might be a hypocrite. Where some selfish, sanctimonious trustfunders insist that you never have a hamburger again. And you can't drive a car (but, mind you, THEY will) because someone invented global warming. And you can't defend yourself from a terrorist because someone might get hurt (other than you. It's okay if you get hurt.)

And, LORD KNOWS, you have to feel guilty forever because 200 years ago someone had a slave.

Will someone please tell me how they can stand being a liberal (ie socialist)?

The rest of us poor schmucks

When the radical, fearmongering environmental nuts take over, Gore and Edwards will still have 28,000 square foot houses and they will still (allegedly) buy carbon offsets. But what will poor schmucks like you and I be doing? We will be wearing lots of coats for those days that don't exactly conform to the Global Warming Dogma. Plus, we will all be hiding our fires. We'll have little camp fires, but we'll have to hide them.

Global warming isn't going to be the end of civilization. No, that's going to be up to Gore and his little band of fruitcakes.

Hide your matches and store up coats. Won't be long before the new laws will state that you MUST ride some sort of public vehicle and you can't turn your heat up past 40 degrees. Well, most of us wouldn't be able to afford THAT any way.

Vaclav Klaus is correct: Environmentalists are the greatest threat to personal freedom since communists.

We are getting ready to witness something global, alright. But it's going to be a depression.

Architects of the politics of fear speak

First, the word 'progressive' is code for 'socialist'. I prefer to use the exact term.

If you are in NYC this week, don't miss the Nation's Christopher Hayes join other nuts talking about 'The Politics of Fear.'

'The Politics of Fear' is socialist code for 'telling people Muslims are going to kill them.'

Indeed, in our fear soaked society this is the only thing socialists think we should NOT be afraid of. In fact, socialists love fear; they find new ways for us to be fearful all the time; and, indeed, they invented the politics of fear.

But, you might not know that socialists also don't think you should be afraid that Muslims are going to bomb planes. According to Hayes, it's only happened ONCE here! Think of the odds! When they start bombing the malls, the socialists are going to say: It only happened ONCE! Think of the odds! No need to defend yourself!

Also, you should not be afraid that a sexual predator will get your kid. Never has there been an American socialist who thinks a criminal should be feared. They build all sorts of walls to prosecuting criminals (and remember! if you want a criminal in jail, you are a racist!). In fact, liberal criminal law practices are entirely responsible for letting sexual predators out on the street. People are afraid because criminals are not being stopped.

American socialists are making the world a very scary place.

(Aside: The only way for people to fight the liberal criminal system, is for families to solve the problem themselves. Vigilanteeism works. If your kid is attacked and you know the predator, the most effective remedy is not the justice system. Dig a hole. Plant the perp. I'm not joking. The liberal criminal justice system has utterly failed to render justice to victims. Instead, it is in the business of making excuses for perpetrators.)

No, the socialists want you to be afraid. They want you to be paralyzed. They want you to be afraid that YOU can't make an extra trip to the store because it will melt the arctic ice cap. They want you to be afraid that flipping on a light will somehow flood NYC. Hmmm.... off on off on off on off on off on. I'm not afraid. I'm optimistic.

Dog Food

At right, Maggie May asks 'what's cookin'?'

Here's an earthshaking thought, crucial to our cultural and political future:

What did dogs eat before dog food? They ate rabbits and people food.

I actually think it is cruel to cook food and never in a dog's life allow the dog to eat what he smells cooking.

Dog food, in short, is convenient, but it is a cruel substitute for real food. When you think about a dog's world and its bouquet of smells, how sad is it that some dogs never get to sample what they smell?

Faggotts, Niggers, and Ann Coulter

We're on our way to creating another protected, coddled class in America. Gays (what if I say 'Homosexual' - does that mean I am hateful?) are the next blacks.

Judging from the ridiculous fallout from Ann Coulter's speech, I now know something I didn't know before.

Saying Faggott is the same as saying Nigger.

Homosexual is the same as saying Negro.

We do not need is more liberal speech codes that make words and ideas illegal. Haven't they done that enough already? But apparently we already have these codes. I thought I'd use the two evil words in this column to see if I can.

I resent the reasoning implicit in this new speech code that homosexuals are an oppressed group just like blacks. Leaving aside for a moment the question of whether blacks are oppressed now, are homosexuals oppressed? Are they a group in the same sense as blacks are a group?

Why no, they aren't. Homosexuals are people who have sex in one particular way and they are part of this group based on their behavior, not on qualities beyond their control, such as skin color. Some homosexuals would actually have to announce their sexual desires for us to know they belong to the group at all. Others have such acute behavioral or emotional problems that it is obvious they are homosexual, but for many of these, it is not obvious that they are in any way mentally healthy.

And here I draw your attention to the obsessively sexualized men who frequent gay bathhouses and who ride on floats in gay pride parades making lewd sexual gestures in public along the entire route. Well, truthfully, there is a buffet of bizarre behavioral displays and emotional weakness in the "group" called homosexual. Even a cursory association with homosexuals leaves one alarmed at all the self-destructive behavior.

I've had more than a cursory association, of course. I've written for a gay newspaper. Indeed, I held the funeral for the publisher of said newspaper when he died of AIDS. I shaved his partner in the hospital when he died of AIDS. I've judged drag shows, been to gay bars, been to gay bars drinking with the owners after hours. I owned a photography business which specialized in photos of drag queens and I can tell you this: Even the healthiest gay men I met had some frightening emotional problems and I never, ever, met one that didn't have an exaggerated sexuality, acted out in fearsome ways.

I've got to get back to work. Not sure I proved my thesis here, but I do want to see if it is legal to type faggott and nigger on Google.

Libby to be burned at the stake

The Democratic Inquisition is celebrating its next victim, Scooter Libby, guilty of working for Dick Cheney and having an unfashionable nickname.

And if you believe that...

Steven Spielberg, noted director and AVID collector of Norman Rockwell, suddenly discovers he has a stolen painting in his collection!

What a shock! He collects Rockwell! But he did not happen to know that this Rockwell had been stolen! Just didn't happen to know that!

Oh, wait, Spielberg's STAFF discovered he had a stolen Rockwell in his collection. His STAFF reported it as soon as they knew it was stolen.

We'll see if Spielberg will be prosecuted for art theft, or, at the minimum, receiving stolen property. But I think he probably commissioned the theft of the painting. Here's why:

The stolen Rockwell happened to be the artist's gullible depiction of Russian school children. (Not Ukrainian school children, of course, because, at the time, Stalin was busy starving and murdering them. Well Russians, too, and Eastern Europeans.)

This fact alone makes me think Spielberg stole the thing. What good liberal Rockwell collector could be without his ideal of the socialist state hanging in his dining room? If the reality of a brutal socialist dictator starving and murdering tens of millions of people doesn't work for you (or maybe you would like to forget it for a while), then maybe you can buy a little fantasy, eh?