When last we left the housekeeper saga, I fired my housekeeper because
1.) She was on welfare and since I was already paying her to lay around, I didn't think I should also pay her to clean my house. I mean, she should clean my house for free, and
2.) she was planning to sue her landlord whose only crime was to own property that he foolishly let her and the government rent. I was on his side.
Since then, I've been through, God only knows how many, housekeepers. I had one I paid $11 an hour for 7 hours of work on my home and business each week. She quit because I didn't pay her enough. I called her up and said: Hell, just tell me how much you want... I'LL PAY! But to no avail. That was a tough loss.
Then I had a parade of people who worked for me once, at $15 an hour. One was a divorced mother getting by on child support and welfare. I fed the girl lunch, and complimented her on marginal work, wrote her a check for $82.50 and she didn't show up the next week!
HELL HOW MUCH DO I NEED TO PAY TO GET SOMEONE TO RUN THE FREAKING VACUUM FOR GOD'S SAKE? It's not like the place is trashed out.
So yesterday I called an ad I saw in the paper for MIRACLE HOUSECLEANING. I'm thinking I don't need a miracle, I just need the vacuum run and the floor swept -- Come to think of it, I guess that would be a miracle.
The girl came over in her brand new SUV, checked out the house and office and quoted $45 -- a bargain! Had me sign papers, explained that her children are on welfare (SHE'S DRIVING A BRAND NEW SUV) and this was her new business. Told me I'd see her at 9:30 am today.
It's 10 am. SHE ISN'T HERE! Guess the welfare checks came or something.
UPDATE: 11 am -- SHE'S HERE! Only 1.5 hours late for her first day on the job!
UPDATE: My new housekeeper did a very good job. Of course, she left in the middle of it to pick up her daughter and stayed gone for damn near two hours, thus stretching out her 4 hour job with me to 8 hours. But the joint got vacuumed and I didn't have to do it. I wonder if she'll show up next week? And... at what time? You know these starving Welfare mothers... you know how they struggle to fill their SUVs with gas and the like... it takes time out of the day.
Labels: You only wish it were the end of the world